The Good Son:Evil Has Many Faces

Damn, that's all I could say when a relative still living in Highland Park where I grew up called me and told me to click on the news. I mean it's sad enough that the man killed his own son, haven't seen anything this horrific since the late Marvin Gaye was taking from us at the hands of his own father. That was less horrific for the fact Marvin was a full grown man said to be attacking his elderly father, but still ya know?! *sighs* But this?! According to the Aunt, dude had already fucked his son up for whatever he had done/said. She said he had knots all over his head like those Tommy Hearns gave Martin( Martin Lawrence). To escort the boy out in public naked,( he must have really lost it) to kill him in a field execution style?! This is his son and let's say the rumor(son was caught raping 3 year old sister) is true.... THAT is his little girl. A little girl who assumes her big brother will protect her and her father surely can. A father that is torn between protecting his baby girl against evil that happens to be his son. Remember the movie The Good Son? Did ol girl not let her biological son fall to his death in order to save the other child in her care? I'd like to think I would have beat his ass then have him arrested or put away in a mental institution. Hoping some day he would be well and try to help my baby girl get thru her ordeal. I'd like to think that I wouldn't play God in a situation like that. I only pray I never find myself in that position having been raped as a child myself. I'm just saying, people snap and as a result you have horrible mishaps. Clearly there are too many mofos walking around not on medication for their mental illnesses
Link to the story surrounding this post:
http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2009/11/post_222.html

Teasing Toughens? Is it ever constructive

So I've been thinking about what it means to be teased or being the teaser and rather it is ever harmless or helpful. Upon discussing this with a friend, I came to the conclusion that where teasing has hurt some, even destroyed.... it has helped me. I was teased most of my childhood, at home and at school. I was called everything, you name it from Lurch to flea bag, spooks,bucked tooth, blackie, ugly and many, many more.Don't get me wrong, at the time and during my early years it was torture and pure hell but the older I got the tougher I got without becoming like my offenders. I found myself becoming the hero and activist for bullied and teased kids in the hood. I also noticed with my growing confidence, that I could laugh with my teasers. This of course didn't happen til I was a teenager flunking my first semester of high school. I remember my Uncle Earl teasing me and calling me a dummy and telling me what each F(funky, foolish, feeble,etc.) stood for on my report card. At first I was laughing and then I started to realize that he might really believe I was a dummy. The thing is I knew I just didn't like going to school with kids I had nothing in common with. I guess part of me was avoiding conflict too. My Uncle also knew and was using a method I wasn't familiar with.... reverse psychology. He wasn't teasing me to hurt me , he was pushing the buttons that would make me fight back and prove him wrong. I turned all those F's into A's after that and he would tell me, "I knew you could do it". Now, there are kids that don't get it, who never come out fighting(mentally that is) when their backs are up against a wall. They end up forever scarred and crippled by bullies and teasers. Some even commit suicide. Some grow up and abuse their children and spouses.


There are also different types of teasing just are there are different personality types. So one can't be too careful when it comes to teasing individuals. With children teasing comes naturally but not consciously. Other than the fact they can sense when someone is shy, nervous or unsure of themselves, they really don't know what they're doing or why. With adults, it's usually them who have the inferiority complex and are trying to feel superior over their victims and their audience.When I tease I try to do it with love and consideration, it is never with malicious intent. I try to make a person realize there is a stronger person within and aim to bring him forth. That's why I have a philosophy that if you can laugh at yourself the world will laugh with you, but if you cry for yourself the world will still laugh at you. So why not laugh at yourself first? Then people will find the next best thing to do, respect you. I hate to see that so many people are destroyed and deeply affected by teasing so many years ago today. That they never got over it, never used it to find out who they were and what they needed to get to the next level in life.


It's a miserable place to be... the victim. Because it saids about you that your oppressor won even though he/she hated him/herself more than he hated you. That they have brought you into their realm of misery and despair for all eternity , be it in life or death. Remember, it's an even more miserable place to be the bully/teaser because they need something to feed off of. If you don't bite the bait, the fisherman doesn't eat that night ;)

Black Widows and the Need to Feed the Greed

Deidra Lane was a chilling story of an NFL wife who was born with a silver spoon in her mouth but robbed banks and murdered her husband, for a 5 million dollar insurance policy. I guess you could say she was going for platinum? I tried wrapping my mind around this one as I read of her release from being imprisoned for 8 years earlier this year. I guess you could say I'm a bit worried being the mother of children with star quality. What kind of people are out here preying on our son's and daughters? What's driving them to do these things when they seem to already have money? I mean this girl's dad paid a $100,000 bond to get her out of jail knowing she would be convicted. That's having money to throw around if you ask me. Was she just that rotten and spoiled that she had a bottomless pit in her soul that couldn't be satisfied? I mean it was found out that dude was broke and ready to leave her. Fred Lane Jr. returned that day to retrieve a motor cycle in order to sell it for cash. While she had been splurging and spending she was also robbing banks with the help of her best friend. Not to mention how easy on the eyes she is, was said to be soft spoken and kind. Friends and parents were totally blind sided by the fact that she didn't appear to be a gold digger because her parents were wealthy. See, I think it's very important to teach our children to value people more than they do material things like money and all it can afford them. Somewhere along the line money becomes their God, parents , best friends and spouses and the actual human form gets in their way to keep it and have more of it. There is really no other logical explanation for this woman going to extremes as to commit murder for something she has never been deprived of... wealth. No morals or compassion for life, only dollars. It wouldn't surprise me if her own father ended up dead now. She has a need to feed her greed that HE instilled in her. This young man is gone now, will never meet his daughter who was only 7 days old when her mother murdered him. The court had the nerve to give the orphaned child to his murderers parents?! MONEY TALKS and it don't have to be bullshit to walk! Now she is out 8 years later and back home to raise her daughter who will probably have the same materialistic disease she has. The least justice could have done is give the child to her father's family. Deidra Lane has not fed off humanity enough for the law and respect for human life to take her problem seriously yet. The Black Widow will attack again.

Get Away Cars: Toyota

*singing theme from an old Toyota commercial* "You asked for it, you got it Toyota!" Okay, what the hell is going on here? Are the makers of Toyota cars conspiring to kills us? Is this another terrorist act? No I'm joking, but not really because this is serious. These cars decide to accelerate without warning and against the drivers navigation at up 100 mph. We're talking up to 2000 cases being reported to date! So I ask you people, if you buy a Toyota are you asking for it? Are you planning some kind of get away that could result in a "Thelma and Louise flying off a cliff" kind of death? Are you suicidal? Are you a daredevil? These are just some of the reasons to buy a Toyota in an economy that's already killing us.

Family Dysfunctions

This is a hard one to swallow, it's like opening Pandora's Box. I noticed a lot families that consider themselves socialites or high society so to speak, don't like to admit that they have issues. If you were born in such a family you either had 1 of 2 choices, rebel or follow suit. You either got to wear the snobbish robe or be the asshole or jerk everyone wants to sabotage by saying you're nuts and influence others against. To keep the family secrets on lock down, some harsh things are done and said at the expense of this so called asshole or jerk. Let's just call this person a heckler in reverse. You see, even though they seem to rock the boat, they're actually trying to fix the broke down motherfucker.There's so much dust on top of issues that's been swept under rugs, even termites can't chew through them and breathe at the same time. The sad thing is, they think everything is running smoothly and long as you keep your mouth shut. When the truth is the whole damn family is headed towards the likes of a titanic tragedy due to improper navigation at the hands of a captain and crew(head of the family and elders) who cannot admit wrong doing and will throw your ass to the sharks before they do. I say let them throw you off and save yourself. For it is better to be eaten alive by sharks than your own people.

So here I am today wondering how old and bad habits survive generation after generation and no one dares to break the cycle of such destructive, traditional, ill fated pride and behavior. I'm wondering how those that follow and occasionally speak against things , which is acknowledging their awareness, continue to fall back in with fear they call respect rather than have the courage to set a better example by showing them a better or even right way? Even if the right way doesn't feel as pretty, earn you favor points it should certainly feel good to YOU. It should certainly earn you some respect. So knowing I will never fully understand the ways of a coward, I also will always prefer to be the heckler than the follower. I will always choose the truth over the illusion which destines us to delusion. Skeletons in the closet rattling in the descendants rooms years down the line keep them disturbed and in utter confusion about who they are and what they represent.Let those issues out the box and deal with them before they blow up in your faces. Let's not go to our graves knowing we've left our people in bondage!

He Wore a raspberry Beret

Disclaimer: This is not a current story, in fact I did this one a couple of years ago on 360. However I have new thoughts about the situation having viewed this movie above called Tim and Mary (a Hallmark film that will air again today)and the person recently trying to re connect with me.

I could not help but snicker when the music and lyrics to Prince's Raspberry Beret popped in my head while watching this movie and seeing the similarities to the girl in the song AND this guy I attempted to date. So I'm asking my friends have they ever considered dating a slow person? I have, before you laugh or look at me sideways first consider this, we are all flawed. Even though they are mentally/intellectually challenged, they are very gifted beyond average ability in other ways. Guys, I know it isn't that hard for you to date or just screw a slow girl. In fact it makes things easier for a commitment phobic guy or gal. They never press or complain. They can be very practical people and they have big hearts. The things that irks me is that they are children trapped in an adults body and if you have kids you don't want to date one. You don't want to have to constantly explain shit to them(especially the same things) and answer silly questions. It isn't always that obvious either that you are dealing with a slow person right away. You might just be blind sided by their charm, good looks and the good nature they exude. You know like the song says, "She walked in through the outdoor". You might even notice something unusual and find it appealing and intriguing. Then one day you'll learn they can't read beyond four letter words or comprehend what they are reading. That they can't add 3 and 4 digit problems. That they can't even follow simple instructions without getting confused and upset. Again, like the song saids, "She wasn't too bright I could tell, but when she kissed me she knew how to get her kicks". Now please tell me how they know how to put it down so well as lovers ?! I mean they know the ins and outs, the ABC's and the damn chemistry and algebra of making love but can't read the sign on a door? Ok, so here's the thing about this dude, he is very nice and kind. He's the best lover I ever had hands down! He's generous and very helpful and can do a lot of things around a house. Frankly, I care a bout the guy, so much I set him free. There is just no way in hell or heaven I can be in a serious relationship with this guy. It really hurt me to hurt his feelings like that but I couldn't do it. Shit you think I wanted to give up that sex?! Hell to the no! I just don't want to have to be his mama and his woman. We have that problem with men who are not slow, but think we are *blank stare* They think they got us sprung so bad we will take care of them and be their woman and their mama*scoffs*. At least the slow man is responsible, knows his role as a man even if he don't necessarily have a big brain. Most of them do have jobs. I digress, I cannot stress myself out like that. I mean can you see that shit? All day you saying "No no no baby" and all night you saying "Yes, yes yes!" SMH, it's a damn shame. In this Movie, Mary is a Attracted to a gentle and kind Tim. She knows he is slow, but she also acknowledges there is something very special about him. She fights it at first and then ends up agreeing to marry the man. His father had asked her to be Tim's guardian in the event he should die. Even the father didn't think Mary should be in a intimate relationship with his son. Maybe the fact that Mary didn't have any children and was a widow made the difference in her tolerance for the situation. Here's a woman that spent 20 something years with one man and then many more after he passed way alone. It took this special person to bring her desires back out. She has the time and the patience to love this man with special needs. I saw a woman yesterday on my way home from the Children's Center to claim my Foster parent license. Standing at the bus stop with five children. The older boy especially was out of control, but she and all of her children appeared to be slow. The boy was just bad and disrepectful while the others just seemed to be on some Helen Keller shit. She could not control any of them especially him. She seemed confused as rather to be their mother or their friend. She was like, "stop that!", then laughing at them. I found myself looking up and praying , "Lord, don't let slow/mentally challenged people have babies." I mean that too, and although I like to think two mentally challenged people can end up giving birth to a genius. It is more likely that some selfish person with an inferior complex is taking advantage of these people and then leaving them to care for kids they cannot fathom to do so on their own. If you're gonna take one on , make the commitment to them and take care of them and protect them from the world and it's cruelty, because they are like the children in that sense. Helpless and alone. If Mary and Tim have a child, she is there to help him be a good father in ways he may fall short. I'm sure THEY won't have children though. So this special guy calls me last week and saids , "I was just thinking about you and would like to see you" and I said "Well honey it was nice to hear from you and I wish you nothing but the best. I just feel you and I are better off not seeing each other. I will always have kind thoughts of you and pray for you and your happiness".(BTW, I tell him this at least every 6 months to a year for the last 3 years now). He said "ok", but you can be sure he will return again with the same sentiments , it never fails. he saids he likes the fact that I am patient and compassionate with him even though he frustrates me. yes he is aware he irritates me at times. He tries really hard to be batter for my sake, but the fact is he is who he is and he is who he will always be take it or leave it. Maybe some day he will really be gone and found happiness, and I will smile because that is truly what I wish for him.

I watched the Black List this morning on HBO, and the commentary that stood out the most to me was that of Keenan Ivory Wayans'. " I dropped out of my 3rd year of college at Tuskegee studying for a degree in engineering to become a comedian. My father told me, Son you should finish college to ensure you have something to fall back on. I thought to myself, I don't want to fail so NOT having anything to fall back on will ensure that I don't fail." Now I realize why our children don't seem to understand the importance of degrees. We're not trying to instill fear of failure in you. We're trying to instill the power of having options for more than one way to succeed in you. I totally get Mr. Wayans' analogy, but I feel when things ran it's course in his career as a comedian he could have better engineered himself in the industry much further. He has successfully opened doors for many others including younger siblings.He launched the Careers of Jim Carey and Jamie Foxx who have had far more success than he has. Mr. Wayans has my respect. I know he is a bright and gifted man and he has achieved more than I probably ever will. On that note, in the words of the LATE Richard Pryor, "I aint dead yet motherfuckers". Clearly this is the mind set of many young people who have great gifts and talents that doesn't necessarily require degrees. So many of our youth feel they don't have to go to college because they have a gift that is their ticket to success in life. I agree they do have these gifts and I believe in these gifts. I do not however, believe God grants gifts without consequence for lack of knowledge and understanding. I believe the gifts and the knowlegde are a package that guarantee you always find a way out , around and above any obstacles that may arise. It is because Mr.Wayans is so gifted and bright that he is still able to succeed "behind the scenes" through his siblings and others despite not having finished his degree. When I look at Stars like Sean P.Diddy Combs and Russell Simmons, even Ice Cube (who later went back and got his degrees.. it's never too late) who realized that even with all their success, degrees mattered. I encouraged my children to get all they can out of life and education. Just getting through everyday life requires knowledge and understanding. The world will eat you alive if you're not equipped to survive in it. Although I may not have all the equipment I need, I have some of the tools(knowledge and understanding) to get to work on this project called my life. Like anything a man sets out to work on, he can start with a hammer and a nail and keep buying the rest as he goes to build a better and stronger product. So it is with education, keep adding to yourself and what you already know and can do. EXPAND, GROW and BUILD. We've come a long way, but yet we have a long way to go and it starts with knowledge. Let's not trip out with the feeling we need a governance to patent our worth by having degrees. So many excuse themselves by saying, " Hell I don't have to read some idiots books to tell me how I can and should do something I already know how to do and better. Why should I have to start from scratch to get a paper saying I know how to do something I've been doing for years naturally? Why? I'll tell you why we should, because it gives us the opportunity and power to show THEM how We do it better and have them reading OUR books! The truth is NOBODY knows just how powerful you are but you so what's the point? I thought this way for so long without realizing I was cheating myself and missing the opportunities to gain the upper hand. I refuse to allow my children to live in that same ignorant bliss. When my son decided to work and go to college instead of pursuing his music career as a priority, I was proud and mostly because HE made that choice on his own. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having something to fall back on. It's yours to fall back on,, you earned it. It's your ace in the hole. You've given yourself options, options you can use even in the things that you want more than you want them. You'll see that it worked for all the good and favor of YOU.