Teasing Toughens? Is it ever constructive

So I've been thinking about what it means to be teased or being the teaser and rather it is ever harmless or helpful. Upon discussing this with a friend, I came to the conclusion that where teasing has hurt some, even destroyed.... it has helped me. I was teased most of my childhood, at home and at school. I was called everything, you name it from Lurch to flea bag, spooks,bucked tooth, blackie, ugly and many, many more.Don't get me wrong, at the time and during my early years it was torture and pure hell but the older I got the tougher I got without becoming like my offenders. I found myself becoming the hero and activist for bullied and teased kids in the hood. I also noticed with my growing confidence, that I could laugh with my teasers. This of course didn't happen til I was a teenager flunking my first semester of high school. I remember my Uncle Earl teasing me and calling me a dummy and telling me what each F(funky, foolish, feeble,etc.) stood for on my report card. At first I was laughing and then I started to realize that he might really believe I was a dummy. The thing is I knew I just didn't like going to school with kids I had nothing in common with. I guess part of me was avoiding conflict too. My Uncle also knew and was using a method I wasn't familiar with.... reverse psychology. He wasn't teasing me to hurt me , he was pushing the buttons that would make me fight back and prove him wrong. I turned all those F's into A's after that and he would tell me, "I knew you could do it". Now, there are kids that don't get it, who never come out fighting(mentally that is) when their backs are up against a wall. They end up forever scarred and crippled by bullies and teasers. Some even commit suicide. Some grow up and abuse their children and spouses.


There are also different types of teasing just are there are different personality types. So one can't be too careful when it comes to teasing individuals. With children teasing comes naturally but not consciously. Other than the fact they can sense when someone is shy, nervous or unsure of themselves, they really don't know what they're doing or why. With adults, it's usually them who have the inferiority complex and are trying to feel superior over their victims and their audience.When I tease I try to do it with love and consideration, it is never with malicious intent. I try to make a person realize there is a stronger person within and aim to bring him forth. That's why I have a philosophy that if you can laugh at yourself the world will laugh with you, but if you cry for yourself the world will still laugh at you. So why not laugh at yourself first? Then people will find the next best thing to do, respect you. I hate to see that so many people are destroyed and deeply affected by teasing so many years ago today. That they never got over it, never used it to find out who they were and what they needed to get to the next level in life.


It's a miserable place to be... the victim. Because it saids about you that your oppressor won even though he/she hated him/herself more than he hated you. That they have brought you into their realm of misery and despair for all eternity , be it in life or death. Remember, it's an even more miserable place to be the bully/teaser because they need something to feed off of. If you don't bite the bait, the fisherman doesn't eat that night ;)