Disclaimer: This is not a current story, in fact I did this one a couple of years ago on 360. However I have new thoughts about the situation having viewed this movie above called Tim and Mary (a Hallmark film that will air again today)and the person recently trying to re connect with me.I could not help but snicker when the music and lyrics to Prince's Raspberry Beret popped in my head while watching this movie and seeing the similarities to the girl in the song AND this guy I attempted to date. So I'm asking my friends have they ever considered dating a slow person? I have, before you laugh or look at me sideways first consider this, we are all flawed. Even though they are mentally/intellectually challenged, they are very gifted beyond average ability in other ways. Guys, I know it isn't that hard for you to date or just screw a slow girl. In fact it makes things easier for a commitment phobic guy or gal. They never press or complain. They can be very practical people and they have big hearts. The things that irks me is that they are children trapped in an adults body and if you have kids you don't want to date one. You don't want to have to constantly explain shit to them(especially the same things) and answer silly questions. It isn't always that obvious either that you are dealing with a slow person right away. You might just be blind sided by their charm, good looks and the good nature they exude. You know like the song says, "She walked in through the outdoor". You might even notice something unusual and find it appealing and intriguing. Then one day you'll learn they can't read beyond four letter words or comprehend what they are reading. That they can't add 3 and 4 digit problems. That they can't even follow simple instructions without getting confused and upset. Again, like the song saids, "She wasn't too bright I could tell, but when she kissed me she knew how to get her kicks". Now please tell me how they know how to put it down so well as lovers ?! I mean they know the ins and outs, the ABC's and the damn chemistry and algebra of making love but can't read the sign on a door? Ok, so here's the thing about this dude, he is very nice and kind. He's the best lover I ever had hands down! He's generous and very helpful and can do a lot of things around a house. Frankly, I care a bout the guy, so much I set him free. There is just no way in hell or heaven I can be in a serious relationship with this guy. It really hurt me to hurt his feelings like that but I couldn't do it. Shit you think I wanted to give up that sex?! Hell to the no! I just don't want to have to be his mama and his woman. We have that problem with men who are not slow, but think we are *blank stare* They think they got us sprung so bad we will take care of them and be their woman and their mama*scoffs*. At least the slow man is responsible, knows his role as a man even if he don't necessarily have a big brain. Most of them do have jobs. I digress, I cannot stress myself out like that. I mean can you see that shit? All day you saying "No no no baby" and all night you saying "Yes, yes yes!" SMH, it's a damn shame. In this Movie, Mary is a Attracted to a gentle and kind Tim. She knows he is slow, but she also acknowledges there is something very special about him. She fights it at first and then ends up agreeing to marry the man. His father had asked her to be Tim's guardian in the event he should die. Even the father didn't think Mary should be in a intimate relationship with his son. Maybe the fact that Mary didn't have any children and was a widow made the difference in her tolerance for the situation. Here's a woman that spent 20 something years with one man and then many more after he passed way alone. It took this special person to bring her desires back out. She has the time and the patience to love this man with special needs. I saw a woman yesterday on my way home from the Children's Center to claim my Foster parent license. Standing at the bus stop with five children. The older boy especially was out of control, but she and all of her children appeared to be slow. The boy was just bad and disrepectful while the others just seemed to be on some Helen Keller shit. She could not control any of them especially him. She seemed confused as rather to be their mother or their friend. She was like, "stop that!", then laughing at them. I found myself looking up and praying , "Lord, don't let slow/mentally challenged people have babies." I mean that too, and although I like to think two mentally challenged people can end up giving birth to a genius. It is more likely that some selfish person with an inferior complex is taking advantage of these people and then leaving them to care for kids they cannot fathom to do so on their own. If you're gonna take one on , make the commitment to them and take care of them and protect them from the world and it's cruelty, because they are like the children in that sense. Helpless and alone. If Mary and Tim have a child, she is there to help him be a good father in ways he may fall short. I'm sure THEY won't have children though. So this special guy calls me last week and saids , "I was just thinking about you and would like to see you" and I said "Well honey it was nice to hear from you and I wish you nothing but the best. I just feel you and I are better off not seeing each other. I will always have kind thoughts of you and pray for you and your happiness".(BTW, I tell him this at least every 6 months to a year for the last 3 years now). He said "ok", but you can be sure he will return again with the same sentiments , it never fails. he saids he likes the fact that I am patient and compassionate with him even though he frustrates me. yes he is aware he irritates me at times. He tries really hard to be batter for my sake, but the fact is he is who he is and he is who he will always be take it or leave it. Maybe some day he will really be gone and found happiness, and I will smile because that is truly what I wish for him.
I watched the Black List this morning on HBO, and the commentary that stood out the most to me was that of Keenan Ivory Wayans'. " I dropped out of my 3rd year of college at Tuskegee studying for a degree in engineering to become a comedian. My father told me, Son you should finish college to ensure you have something to fall back on. I thought to myself, I don't want to fail so NOT having anything to fall back on will ensure that I don't fail." Now I realize why our children don't seem to understand the importance of degrees. We're not trying to instill fear of failure in you. We're trying to instill the power of having options for more than one way to succeed in you. I totally get Mr. Wayans' analogy, but I feel when things ran it's course in his career as a comedian he could have better engineered himself in the industry much further. He has successfully opened doors for many others including younger siblings.He launched the Careers of Jim Carey and Jamie Foxx who have had far more success than he has. Mr. Wayans has my respect. I know he is a bright and gifted man and he has achieved more than I probably ever will. On that note, in the words of the LATE Richard Pryor, "I aint dead yet motherfuckers". Clearly this is the mind set of many young people who have great gifts and talents that doesn't necessarily require degrees. So many of our youth feel they don't have to go to college because they have a gift that is their ticket to success in life. I agree they do have these gifts and I believe in these gifts. I do not however, believe God grants gifts without consequence for lack of knowledge and understanding. I believe the gifts and the knowlegde are a package that guarantee you always find a way out , around and above any obstacles that may arise. It is because Mr.Wayans is so gifted and bright that he is still able to succeed "behind the scenes" through his siblings and others despite not having finished his degree. When I look at Stars like Sean P.Diddy Combs and Russell Simmons, even Ice Cube (who later went back and got his degrees.. it's never too late) who realized that even with all their success, degrees mattered. I encouraged my children to get all they can out of life and education. Just getting through everyday life requires knowledge and understanding. The world will eat you alive if you're not equipped to survive in it. Although I may not have all the equipment I need, I have some of the tools(knowledge and understanding) to get to work on this project called my life. Like anything a man sets out to work on, he can start with a hammer and a nail and keep buying the rest as he goes to build a better and stronger product. So it is with education, keep adding to yourself and what you already know and can do. EXPAND, GROW and BUILD. We've come a long way, but yet we have a long way to go and it starts with knowledge. Let's not trip out with the feeling we need a governance to patent our worth by having degrees. So many excuse themselves by saying, " Hell I don't have to read some idiots books to tell me how I can and should do something I already know how to do and better. Why should I have to start from scratch to get a paper saying I know how to do something I've been doing for years naturally? Why? I'll tell you why we should, because it gives us the opportunity and power to show THEM how We do it better and have them reading OUR books! The truth is NOBODY knows just how powerful you are but you so what's the point? I thought this way for so long without realizing I was cheating myself and missing the opportunities to gain the upper hand. I refuse to allow my children to live in that same ignorant bliss. When my son decided to work and go to college instead of pursuing his music career as a priority, I was proud and mostly because HE made that choice on his own. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having something to fall back on. It's yours to fall back on,, you earned it. It's your ace in the hole. You've given yourself options, options you can use even in the things that you want more than you want them. You'll see that it worked for all the good and favor of YOU.
Apparently recently Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon appeared on the Wendy William's show as a guest. Ms. Beauvais is a Haitian born model actress who played opposite Foxx in The Jamie Foxx Show. Ms. Beauvais-Nilon leaked/slipped up a shocker that Jamie Foxx has a new baby?! That when Foxx broke the news to her she teased, "Wow Jamie! Do I know the mama?" he goes "No" and she goes "Do YOU know the mama?" LMAO!!!! For Ms. Beauvais-Nilon(I'm so tired of typing that shit), there was no turning back. She then apologized to Mr.Foxx as she realized it was not public knowledge. This chic has to really be out of the loop NOT to know that! *scoffs* As for Wendy who did not know this, she was a happy lil gossiping predator all aglow. My thing is not the gossip aspect of it, but what a smooth cat this brother is! I'm impressed. We all know about his darling Corrinne. Mr. Foxx has been living as a bachelor/player for quite some time now and manages to keep life style drama free and his business HIS business, much like George Clooney did. I dreamed about him for some reason last night,lol. Before that, Mr Foxx was just some silly clown, great actor and gifted singer and entertainer to me, (like Will Smith) who could make me laugh til my sides split but didn't find sexy. Well Claude have mercy they're both sexy as hell to me right now. They have so got grown and sexy on me without losing their sense of humor. Move over Will, this about Jamie though,lol. I do wanna know who his new baby mama is cuz she is one luckay bish *glaring suspiciously*. Last I checked, reps for Foxx had neither denied or confirmed the baby bomb allegations. It's Sunday, I'm chillin and going back to la la land to get me some Jamie. Peeeeeeace!
If I could go back and change any of the incidents/events in my life that caused me pain and suffering..... I would not. Instead today I celebrate and embrace every last one of them. It's really quite beautiful once you understand the true purpose of pain, trial and tribulation in your life. In fact, I think pain is essential to the "rebirth", growth and development of one's life... evolution. Imagine if you will, the pain of bringing a new life into the world. It's excruciating, overwhelming and frightening. Half way through the experience you began to wonder if it's worth it, if you can change your mind and go back... but you can't. You're at the point of no return, so you continue to push and press on. You figure the sooner it's over the better, and at that point you are hopeful again that you can survive this, because you have a mind to survive and see what the outcome will bring. When that new life has finally arrived, you are so elated with what you have accomplished that the pain and struggle seem a lifetime ago. I believe that God intended you to go through everything you went through, he knows the beginning and the end of every man's story. You are impregnated with God's vision and purpose for your life. There is a design to just what it's gonna take to get you to it and through it... your destiny. It's like getting out of your skin and getting back in it a different person. It's a painful, shocking and a dreaded experience, but it takes a courageous, ambitious and hungry individual to embrace it. Knowing or not knowing, what's on the other side. What's at the end of that cold, dark tunnel is the reason I look forward to the next scrape, bump and bruise. I'll just patch them up and keep moving because I'm determined to complete my mission, which is to find my purpose. To become whole, at peace with myself and others, especially God. If I do not suffer God cannot compensate me for my troubles, then I will not know what God has brought me above and beyond. The OUTCOME tells me what God meant for me, not my adversaries. The INCOME is just what somebody feels you deserve(man). So let's not worry about how someone paid us( or didn't) for our kindness, loyalty and efforts. Only rejoice in knowing God will pay you for the humility you endured
