He Wore a raspberry Beret

Disclaimer: This is not a current story, in fact I did this one a couple of years ago on 360. However I have new thoughts about the situation having viewed this movie above called Tim and Mary (a Hallmark film that will air again today)and the person recently trying to re connect with me.

I could not help but snicker when the music and lyrics to Prince's Raspberry Beret popped in my head while watching this movie and seeing the similarities to the girl in the song AND this guy I attempted to date. So I'm asking my friends have they ever considered dating a slow person? I have, before you laugh or look at me sideways first consider this, we are all flawed. Even though they are mentally/intellectually challenged, they are very gifted beyond average ability in other ways. Guys, I know it isn't that hard for you to date or just screw a slow girl. In fact it makes things easier for a commitment phobic guy or gal. They never press or complain. They can be very practical people and they have big hearts. The things that irks me is that they are children trapped in an adults body and if you have kids you don't want to date one. You don't want to have to constantly explain shit to them(especially the same things) and answer silly questions. It isn't always that obvious either that you are dealing with a slow person right away. You might just be blind sided by their charm, good looks and the good nature they exude. You know like the song says, "She walked in through the outdoor". You might even notice something unusual and find it appealing and intriguing. Then one day you'll learn they can't read beyond four letter words or comprehend what they are reading. That they can't add 3 and 4 digit problems. That they can't even follow simple instructions without getting confused and upset. Again, like the song saids, "She wasn't too bright I could tell, but when she kissed me she knew how to get her kicks". Now please tell me how they know how to put it down so well as lovers ?! I mean they know the ins and outs, the ABC's and the damn chemistry and algebra of making love but can't read the sign on a door? Ok, so here's the thing about this dude, he is very nice and kind. He's the best lover I ever had hands down! He's generous and very helpful and can do a lot of things around a house. Frankly, I care a bout the guy, so much I set him free. There is just no way in hell or heaven I can be in a serious relationship with this guy. It really hurt me to hurt his feelings like that but I couldn't do it. Shit you think I wanted to give up that sex?! Hell to the no! I just don't want to have to be his mama and his woman. We have that problem with men who are not slow, but think we are *blank stare* They think they got us sprung so bad we will take care of them and be their woman and their mama*scoffs*. At least the slow man is responsible, knows his role as a man even if he don't necessarily have a big brain. Most of them do have jobs. I digress, I cannot stress myself out like that. I mean can you see that shit? All day you saying "No no no baby" and all night you saying "Yes, yes yes!" SMH, it's a damn shame. In this Movie, Mary is a Attracted to a gentle and kind Tim. She knows he is slow, but she also acknowledges there is something very special about him. She fights it at first and then ends up agreeing to marry the man. His father had asked her to be Tim's guardian in the event he should die. Even the father didn't think Mary should be in a intimate relationship with his son. Maybe the fact that Mary didn't have any children and was a widow made the difference in her tolerance for the situation. Here's a woman that spent 20 something years with one man and then many more after he passed way alone. It took this special person to bring her desires back out. She has the time and the patience to love this man with special needs. I saw a woman yesterday on my way home from the Children's Center to claim my Foster parent license. Standing at the bus stop with five children. The older boy especially was out of control, but she and all of her children appeared to be slow. The boy was just bad and disrepectful while the others just seemed to be on some Helen Keller shit. She could not control any of them especially him. She seemed confused as rather to be their mother or their friend. She was like, "stop that!", then laughing at them. I found myself looking up and praying , "Lord, don't let slow/mentally challenged people have babies." I mean that too, and although I like to think two mentally challenged people can end up giving birth to a genius. It is more likely that some selfish person with an inferior complex is taking advantage of these people and then leaving them to care for kids they cannot fathom to do so on their own. If you're gonna take one on , make the commitment to them and take care of them and protect them from the world and it's cruelty, because they are like the children in that sense. Helpless and alone. If Mary and Tim have a child, she is there to help him be a good father in ways he may fall short. I'm sure THEY won't have children though. So this special guy calls me last week and saids , "I was just thinking about you and would like to see you" and I said "Well honey it was nice to hear from you and I wish you nothing but the best. I just feel you and I are better off not seeing each other. I will always have kind thoughts of you and pray for you and your happiness".(BTW, I tell him this at least every 6 months to a year for the last 3 years now). He said "ok", but you can be sure he will return again with the same sentiments , it never fails. he saids he likes the fact that I am patient and compassionate with him even though he frustrates me. yes he is aware he irritates me at times. He tries really hard to be batter for my sake, but the fact is he is who he is and he is who he will always be take it or leave it. Maybe some day he will really be gone and found happiness, and I will smile because that is truly what I wish for him.